She was amazing, returning to herself, moaning and riding each wave like a pro. Through all the hospital beeping, and typing, and questioning she rested with her eyes closed, occasionally peeking out for reassurance from her husband or me. With each contraction she was inside, primal, clearly somewhere else, opening in the deepest places.
Her sounds reminded me of feminine nature at its core, connected to something beyond. They were compositions of a woman who is afraid and also knows she is capable and strong.
But for one midwife at the hospital it seems these were the sounds of suffering. She came in once offering an epidural and then she came in again and again and again encouraging one. Each time the birthing woman shook her head no the midwife walked out with a bewildered look on her face, muttering to herself.
A birthing mama feels everything, this was a first timer and she was young so she was slightly shaken but we reassured her that she was amazing, she was connected, she was DOING IT. Mama re entered her world, connected to baby, bringing it down.
Midwife came again, and this time she said 'Really it is silly for you to suffer, you should just take the epidural and that's it'....and to this the primal birthing mama looked up, stared right into the midwifes eyes and shouted at the top of her lungs 'I AM NOT SUFFERING AND DO NOT TALK TO ME ABOUT EPIDURAL AGAIN'. It worked, the midwife listened.
About two hours later with many birthing songs sung, her beautiful baby entered the world to a mama who sat in the glory of her voice and her strength.